Monday 26 March 2007

Babysitting Advice - Is It Ever Right To Bribe Children?

Many new parents vow that their kids won’t be given sugary foods or stuck in front of a TV! They will only have healthy, well-balanced food and all play will be mentally stimulating and educational.

So…how come Junior is watching that Sesame Street DVD for the 20th time and snacking on cookies?

I’ll give in…just this once

If they’re honest, most parents and babysitters have fallen back on bribery at least once – usually a lot more than once! If you’re exhausted and crave a few minutes of peace and quiet, a little bribery seems the obvious way to go.

Babysitters are often in the awkward position of having to discipline the child – but not having the same level of authority as the parent. This is for two reasons. The babysitter isn’t the parent and doesn’t know the full history of what has and hasn’t worked with the child in the past. And bribery does work – at least in the short term – but what is it teaching the child?

Creating A Demanding Child

People who are steadfastly against bribery argue that it is encouraging children to behave badly as they know it will end in a bribe to stop that behavior.

It helps to look at the dictionary definition of a bribe. It’s ‘anything given or promised to induce a person to do something illegal or wrong’ – so that clearly isn’t what’s happening here. You’re using a ‘bribe’, but to induce good not bad behavior.

It’s All In The Timing

Bribery is offering payment before the deal is closed. In other words, once the child has what they want – why should they do what you want? Especially when yet more bad behavior is likely to result in another ‘gift’.

The fundamental difference between a bribe and a reward is the timing of the action. Whether it’s intended to induce good or bad behavior, a bribe is given before or during the bad behavior, to stop it.

A reward is given after the good behavior. If the good behavior doesn’t happen, neither does the reward.

Make The Child Do The Work

A huge amount of effort can go into persuading, coaxing, explaining and finally bribing a child. It’s exhausting, frustrating and worrying. So stop doing it! The ironic thing is that in the early stages, the reward will have to be offered prior to the situation arising. For example, tell the child that if they are good while you’re grocery shopping, you will be able to get round the store quicker which means there will be time to go to the park on the way home. It’s then up to the child to work for that reward.

Make The Power Shift

When you bribe a child – they have the power in the situation. They are manipulating you in order to gain a reward.

When you offer a reward – you both have power. You can give the reward or withhold it. The child can earn it or lose it. You’ll be surprised how quickly they learn!


Visit www.superbabysitting.com for free babysitting tips, advice and how to claim a first aid book and babysitters handbook.

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Thursday 22 March 2007

Why are there so many movies about babysitters and nannies? It’s because their privileged, immediate access to people’s homes, lives and children creates endless storylines. Here are ten movies featuring babysitters – is your favorite among them?

1. The Baby-Sitters Club

This 1995 film was based on the bestselling ‘Babysitters Club’ books by Ann Martin - the adventures of seven friends who start a babysitting business.

The film featured an early appearance by actress Rachael Leigh Cook. The babysitters start a summer camp for all of their kids but their plans go awry. In surmounting the obstacles, the babysitters learn how amazing true friendship is.

This is a perennial movie that all ages will love.

2. Adventures in Babysitting

This 1987 comedy starred Elisabeth Shue. It was directed by Chris Columbus, prior to his blockbusting ‘Home Alone’. Shue plays a babysitter who ends up taking her charges on a night-time romp in the city. The many adventures include being forced to sing in a blues bar – where they perform a hilarious song entitled ‘Babysitting Blues’.

The film was re-titled A Night On The Town for release in Europe. It’s an endearing comedy which has stood the test of time.

3. Mary Poppins

A huge favorite with all ages – Mary Poppins was made by Disney in 1964. It starred Julie Andrews as the nanny who is practically perfect in every way. She was ably supported by Dick Van Dyke (famed for his toe-curling, yet loveable cockney accent), David Tomlinson, Glynis Johns and Hermione Baddeley.

The film pioneered the combined use of real people, animation, musical and fantasy as well as some good special effects. Who can forget Uncle Albert (Ed Wyn) bouncing around the ceiling, laughing?

Mary Poppins won five Oscars, including Best Actress for Julie Andrews, Best Song and Best Visual Effects. It was released on DVD in 2000. A truly loved family film.

4. Mrs Doubtfire

Chris Columbus directed this 1994 huge hit comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field and Pierce Brosnan. Williams plays a loving but unreliable father. This leads to an estrangement from his wife and in order to be back with his family, Williams’ character becomes Mrs Doubtfire – the dream nanny that his ex-wife needs.

Williams is on top form and there are some hilarious scenes – notably when he is being transformed into Doubtfire by his make-up artist brother, played by Harvey Fierstein. However, the film also has a poignant depth in the scenes where he is missing his children. Well worth seeing – Robin Williams steals the show!

5. Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead (rated 15)

This was made in 1991 and starred Christina Applegate. Sue Ellen (Applegate) thinks she is going to be in charge of her siblings when her mother goes away for two months. That is until a tyrannical babysitter arrives…

Worth seeing for the appearance of a young David Duchovny as a slimy clerk.

6. Halloween

This is only for under 17’s if accompanied by an adult - and for good reason. It is still one of the most frightening films ever made. Director John Carpenter’s use of scary music (written by him) darkness and creepy camera movements masterfully build the horror.

Jamie Lee Curtis is a teenage baby sitter trying to survive a knife-wielding maniac on the loose on a terrifying Halloween night.

Halloween was made on a low budget and was such a box office sensation that many sequels were made – none as good as the 1978 original. It’s a must-see movie but be warned…you’ll want to sleep with the lights on!

7. Daddy Day Care

This 2003 comedy starring Eddie Murphy and Anjelica Huston is great fun. Murphy and a friend are an unemployed pair who open a day-care center. Huston is their competitor, trying to shut them down. Great scenes with hyperactive kids!

8. The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

A 1992 film and another one where you’ll need an adult with you if you’re under 17. Rebecca De Mornay stars as an extremely disturbed au pair. The horrid fascination is in watching such an attractive, kind girl gradually revealing terrifying malevolence. Made in 1992, the film also features Julianne Moore.

9. Nanny McPhee

Emma Thompson is wonderful as the nanny with hairy warts, a scary unibrow and a mesmerizing buck tooth. She follows 17 nannies, already despatched by the children of a recent widower, played by Colin Firth. Unless the children are tamed, he stands to lose his lifeline inheritance from his aunt (Angela Lansbury). Celia Imrie is the bride set up for him but he loves the maid (Kelly Macdonald). Nanny McPhee and the kids plan to make things work out…

10. Don’t Bother To Knock

Made in 1953, this starred Marilyn Monroe, Anne Bancroft and Richard Widmark.

In her first starring role in a drama – Monroe plays a babysitter whose initially shy behaviour becomes more bizarre as the night goes on. The film becomes darker as the suspense grows – hence the Parent Guidance rating. Not one of her more famous films but worth it to see a wonderful performance – proving that Marilyn really could act.

Visit www.superbabysitting.com for free babysitting tips, advice and how to claim a first aid book and babysitters handbook.

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